batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
