the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
