Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
my being single is dangerous.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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