I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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