somebody snuck up and got me drunk
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
