then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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