so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
