some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Randomize
