brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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