I want to have your abortion
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
