I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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