I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
