look no pants
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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