can we get nightvision for the apartment?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize