I skipped work to stalk him.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
