I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
