Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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