I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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