okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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