How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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