My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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