And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
