Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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