I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
