Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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