this boner is exhausting
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
