Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
