Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I have so many feelings about this burrito
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
