They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
