My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
