If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
