I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
