and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
