he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
