Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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