is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
