You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize