she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm getting married
To pizza
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Randomize
