I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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