Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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