i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize