no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
