I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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