then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
