New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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