I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
