Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
