I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
