you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize