So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
