the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
