Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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