the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
The beer is more important than you right now.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
