It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Everclear isn't food dammit
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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