how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I will die if light touches me.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
