Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We have so much sex to catch up on
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
