apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
do herpes really smell.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
