Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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