Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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