her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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