I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Randomize