Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
