I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
