girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize