Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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