She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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