This is not my ceiling
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
