Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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