...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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